"Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow"
I couldn't start continuing this story without spilling some things from my past, which I hate the most, because these things aren't my most beautiful moments in life, and I .. sort of kept them all in one place deep, DEEP in my heart. Some of you may have heard them from me, but mostly I kept them to myself and my other half, and my best friends - the ones that will always be there for me regardless of whatever. (had to delete what I wrote to be on the safe side here *wink*)
I dreamed of a better childhood, but I cannot deny that I enjoyed living my childhood with families and friends. There are no perfect family, and my big family is far from perfect. Me being the eldest came as a huge burden (still... sort of) and there were times when I wished for more. More money, more attention from parents, less responsibilities, less pressure. I did had to let go of a few good opportunities (education wise etc) because we simply had no money. My family made me feel neglected.
In term of friendship, I keep my circle small. I've been betrayed, I've been played, and I won't let betrayals hurt me over and over again. If I decide that one can be trustworthy enough, I will keep him or her as my friend, not just acquaintances.
All in all, and when I had the chance of escaping all these for a new life, I do not think twice. The chance I'm talking about was a marriage proposal from a man I've known for a few months only, but enough to say I do. I left home at the age of 19.
♥ Why I am not that close with my younger siblings
♥ Why I rarely share personal problems with family members
♥ Why I did (and still do) a lot of things
and a lot more.
But that doesn't mean I was not involved in any of those major events in their life. Before and after living out of the house.
I just chose to stay in the background, giving out advises without physically interfering with our family affairs.
I also had my fair share of ... family rage? Don't every family do?