27 August 2014

A Bigger Responsibility?

Hey uols. I finally decided to update my blog again eh? Sorry, I tried so hard to finish the earlier story, but just couldn't. No reason, I just couldn't. Maybe some other times when I gather enough courage OK?

Well, raya is OK, considering that we celebrated raya this year here in Bangi. I mean, everyone I consider family were here and for that I was truly blessed. Except that.. for the fact that.. we're short of one member. And.. my newly renovated home! Lots of stories about this one but I'm gonna tell you about that some other time.

I actually wanna tell you something I did for Fahim today. Well, I promised him this since early this year (probably last year - I can't really remember though). I promised him I'd buy him a new pet, since Tembun was given to a family friend 2 years ago. And on our last trip to Warta.. for birthday preparation and such, lalu lagi kedai pet tu. And I (again) promise to buy him a tortoise in a week, and he's been counting days like crazy. This was due last Sunday :-(

Being a bad mother I am, I only bought them tortoise today - two of them. And he's so happy. And that makes me super happy. 

Walking out of the shop towards my car, he's already picking up names for them. Don't ask me, I don't know why or how he chose the names : Iyoshi (maybe this is the wrong spelling but I swear this is how he pronounced it the first time, and every other times) and Ian. I cracked my brain to remember any cartoon characters with those names but nothing. Iyoshi is so... asian? and Ian is like the name of some Hollywood actor. I really have no idea.. this boy surprised me! 

The truth is, I never wanted him to have any pet, for the time being. He can't even put his shirt on properly, let alone taking care of a pet. That was why I've been holding to the idea for so long.. but seeing his determination kind of blew me away. He was persistent, to the point of annoying the hell out of me, but everything he said to me every time this whole pet thing came out was.. so sweet but so mature for a 6 year old to say.

So I gave up. He won.

I bought him his second pets - Iyoshi and Ian.


Ian (left) and Iyoshi (right)

18 June 2014

Love Is A Strange Thing Part II

"Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow"
~The Passenger~

I couldn't start continuing this story without spilling some things from my past, which I hate the most, because these things aren't my most beautiful moments in life, and I .. sort of kept them all in one place deep, DEEP in my heart. Some of you may have heard them from me, but mostly I kept them to myself and my other half, and my best friends - the ones that will always be there for me regardless of whatever. (had to delete what I wrote to be on the safe side here *wink*)

I dreamed of a better childhood, but I cannot deny that I enjoyed living my childhood with families and friends. There are no perfect family, and my big family is far from perfect. Me being the eldest came as a huge burden (still... sort of) and there were times when I wished for more. More money, more attention from parents, less responsibilities, less pressure. I did had to let go of a few good opportunities (education wise etc) because we simply had no money. My family made me feel neglected.

In term of friendship, I keep my circle small. I've been betrayed, I've been played, and I won't let betrayals hurt me over and over again. If I decide that one can be trustworthy enough, I will keep him or her as my friend, not just acquaintances.

All in all, and when I had the chance of escaping all these for a new life, I do not think twice. The chance I'm talking about was a marriage proposal from a man I've known for a few months only, but enough to say I do. I left home at the age of 19.

♥ Why I am not that close with my younger siblings
♥ Why I rarely share personal problems with family members
♥ Why I did (and still do) a lot of things

and a lot more.

But that doesn't mean I was not involved in any of those major events in their life. Before and after living out of the house.

I just chose to stay in the background, giving out advises without physically interfering with our family affairs.

I also had my fair share of ... family rage? Don't every family do?


11 May 2014

Love Is A Strange Thing Part I

Love is a strange thing, isn't it?

When we thought that mother's love is for eternity, we heard of dead babies in toilets.

When we thought that a man is brave enough to overcome everything to marry his dream girl, we also heard of infidelity cases.
- I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The World Don't Rhyme -

We've always hope for eternal love, and forever happiness, that we always forgot that some things are not meant to be.

We tend to forget that love, is sometimes means letting someone go.

And, we sometimes have to learnt it the hard way.

In my case, the hardest way possible.