Thursday, December 17, 2015

Problems Problems

Well Well Well

People (only a handful of) asked me what's my take on this. Like you actually care about my opinion, or it's a form of sarcasm, I will never know. But still, this is a good topic to write.

I don't usually share my personal problems with acquaintances, only to families and a few good friends. I tweeted these problems several times , but not to the extend they understood or could grasp the whole story... nope. TMI, therefore I usually talk to my sister or good friends about it only if I can't handle the pressure anymore. Learnt not too long ago that if I can't do anything to solve them, at least I need to talk to someone. Not necessarily for their advises or what not, I just need someone to listen. A couple of useful advice won't hurt anyone right?

I do admit I rant a lot about work and stuff to them (acquaintances).

That's (read: popcorn time) also what I do when I see families and friends share their personal problems (like really really personal). If I know the whole story, then I'll reply or text / call them to offer some sort of comfort. If not..

... I don't give a damn. Simple.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Whatsapp & Twitter

I wouldn't hesitate.

I don't need a relationship with a robot. Or doll. Or kayu.

Monday, October 26, 2015


Contract husband needed urgently.

Reimbursement / payment can be negotiated along the terms of contract.

Friday, October 16, 2015


Another confession.

I envy some people. Some pregnant, expectant women.

1) They are glowing.
I don't know how they do it. Supplements? Facial routines? But it sucks when I am the only one to have oily skin with dark spots and really obvious dark circles under my eyes. Not to mention I have skin problems, particularly acne behind my back and really sensitive legs and foots. The once clear skin now infected with little red spots that are itchy and scars everywhere. It's frustrating because I can't wear sandals without them visible to others. 

2) Cravings
This one gets to me deeply. Like heart wrenching sadness - deep. Because I prevent myself from craving weird stuff I used to when I was pregnant with previous children. I HAVE TOO.
Like.. I really want to go back to the exotic stall in the middle of a felda somewhere near Selangor or Perak, I think. Landak, rusa and such.
I really want to devour something from a specific place but won't be able to.
I avoid looking at foodie blogs and IGs. I skipped friends' timeline so that I don't drool at their luncheons and dinners and desserts. 
For me, it's really heartbreaking. Because I'm an eater. I love food.
I really am happy when friends told me they brought their loved ones to eat whatever at where ever because it shows they really love their spouses, and their unborn child. I don't have that privilege. I don't have enough money. 
I just need to suck it up, and deal with it.
Baby, you understand mommy right? If I am selfish I might get to eat them all. But I am not. You have brothers and sisters that I have to take care of, financially & emotionally & physically.

Pity, when this (pregnancy) is not a one side game but you have to deal with it alone.

3) Disease
Is this a disease that one afraid to touch and to fond and ... 

4) The appointments
It's annoying when husbands loitering in clinics and hospitals to accompany their wives. Because I don't have one. Always the same old excuses. When you doesn't matter. I get that. 

But what if someone wants to do that but I can't? 

Women always need attention, even when they're asleep. They love cuddles and minor sweet gestures all the time. Especially in pregnancy.

Not only when she knows you need something, and she won't even get the same treatment back.


Again, suck it up, and deal with it.

I read a lot during this pregnancy. I have to admit I am depressed. 

Even more now, for reasons I can't really tell you.

The lack of sleep nowadays, and after delivery (breastfeeding and all) will surely adding more to the mix.

I have more to tell, but am in the verge of tears. 

So until then, peeps.

Conclusion : One (really depressed) woman show.